Ok, Cancer Was a Gift

you dont need a plan just let go

For the longest time I refused to say “cancer was a gift.” But as time goes by and I reflect on my “new” life, I will admit, “cancer was a gift.” Not in the sense it was a nice adventure, but that it woke me up to the fact that someday I will be dead. My ride on this amazing planet will be over and when it does happen (someday) I do not want to have regrets.

Before cancer, I lived my life probably like many others; maybe even you. I did what I thought I was “supposed” to do, in order to be accepted and fit in to society, even though there was always a voice inside me that said, “this is not who you are.”

If cancer had not kicked me in the ass (pun intended) I would still be running around like a crazy woman trying to earn money, so I could buy things, I do not need. I would still be putting up with bosses who were on “ego trips.”  I would still be stressed out and not know it! It would seem normal to me because I didn’t understand there was a better way to live. Why? Because everyone I knew lived the same way as me. We were all patients in the same nuthouse, but we didn’t know it because we numbed ourselves with pills, alcohol, shopping or zoning out in front of the television.

I would still be saying “yes” to people when I really wanted to say “no.”  I would still be caught up in the petty drama that so many of us engage in on a daily basis. There is something about being told “you have a good chance of dying within a year”  that puts things in perspective. Suddenly sitting in traffic isn’t such a big deal. Hey! I’m alive and I’m sitting in traffic! I can listen to music, practice my breathing, be present in the moment or whatever else. The fact is. I am alive. I have the opportunity to turn my life around.

Meditation and Buddhist philosophy has helped me a great deal with understanding myself. If it weren’t for cancer, I might not have continued with the practice and taken it seriously, incorporating its teachings in to my daily life.

After cancer, I changed how I present myself to the world. I stopped caring what others think about me. I speak my truth. I changed my diet. I take time for myself. I disconnect from social media one day a week.  I even got rid of my cell phone (I had the old flip phone anyway because I refused to upgrade to an over priced Smartphone). I went back to a landline.

I stopped watching cable news (their energy coming over the airwaves was polluting my environment). I do check in briefly online for an update, but I don’t get sucked in to the drama and propaganda.

I finally came to the understanding, I am responsible for my behavior and I now choose to bring positive energy wherever I go.  I can’t change the behavior of others but I can do something about mine.

Lately I am looking at off the grid lifestyles.  Hubby and I talked about having an animal sanctuary years ago but haven’t done much about getting that going. We have rescued many animals the past sixteen years but we want a small farm where we can grow our own veggies and rescue more critters.

This morning I woke up thinking, “I turn 60 this year.  What am I waiting for? Let’s get this chapter started!”

From now on, I will learn everything I can how to do that. I don’t know where the money will come from to make it happen, but I can’t worry about that. I just have to get started and things will come together.

What do you dream of doing with your life? What’s holding you back from achieving it? Don’t wait. Do it now. Just go for it!

Be well and follow your desires,





photo credit; pixshark.com

photo credit; pixshark.com


It’s a few minutes after 6 o’clock and everything started moving out (and into the bag) a couple hours ago. Apple juice sure works fast! I gave it some extra time though, before eating solid food. Everything looks good.

If you have a stoma, make sure to pay attention to changes in your stool or lack of, in case something else is going on. If you think it’s only constipation, try drinking unfiltered apple juice. Things should be back to normal within hours. If not, or if you experience pain or see blood… contact your doctor.

If you have no idea what I’m writing about, continue reading the rest of this post to catch up.


Yesterday afternoon I felt a twinge near my stoma. It wasn’t a cramp but it got my attention. I didn’t have a bowel movement that morning and figured that the twinge was just gas and things would get rolling soon. A few hours later there were more twinges and still no stool in my bag… well, there was a tiny bit, but not enough to qualify as a normal movement for me.

I decided to wait and watch before I jumped to any conclusions, like a blockage. Its been a few years since I was constipated and this is probably what is going on now. I thought about my diet and if there was anything new that I ate, which could be causing an issue. The only new food is jasmine rice. I usually eat basmati and after I cook it, it has a rice texture. The jasmine comes out mushy, like mashed potatoes. I cooked it two different times, each time adjusting the water-to-rice ratio and got the same results. I ate the rice with sautéed red peppers, onions and black beans. Could that combination be stopping me up? For the rest of the day I ate raw foods dipped in hummus and drank lots of water.

This morning the twinging stopped but I only had a couple nuggets inside my bag. I am definitely constipated. There are plenty of over the counter stool softeners I could buy but I stay away from medications, if at all possible. So, I went to the store and bought a bottle of unfiltered organic apple juice. I will drink the 32 ounce bottle over the next couple hours to see if that helps. I did eat my usual breakfast; coffee and organic peanut butter on Ezekiel toast, before I went to the store, but the rest of the day will be just juice, smoothies and water. I need to flush myself out and reset my digestion.

Hopefully things will be back to normal by this evening and I can eat a little something. I will update my progress later tonight.

Be well and eat healthy!


Role of Consciousness and Self-Healing Discussed with Dr Bernie Siegel

I found a thoughtful interview about the connection between consciousness and self-healing. There is so much of what Dr. Siegel says that I can relate to. Leave me a comment after watching and give me your thoughts.

Be well,