I Found Some Old Posts I Wrote When I First Got Cancer

One of the first things I suggest to patients I visit is to write in a journal. I think writing is therapeutic and a good way to keep track of one’s progress, difficulties; a place to vent, explore feelings and other things. A friend bought me a journal when I got sick so I wrote down all kinds of stuff from affirmations to recipes. I also wrote in my online blog. Back then I had a different blog called “Junkstylediva.” I started it years before I got sick and I wrote about vintage collectibles and flea market finds.

I decided to start another blog (this one) because it better reflected my new life. I still enjoy snooping through thrift stores and flea markets for treasures, I just don’t write about it. I was looking at that blog the other day and came across many posts I forgot I even wrote. I want to share them with you. They are posts about milestones from my journey to wellness. I hope sharing my posts will inspire others to do the same, so if there are times they feel frustrated, they can see how far they have come from the first time they were diagnosed.

Jan 1, 2011

My oncology doc just stopped by. Great news! He is confident I will make a full recovery  🙂   I knew it in my heart but it is great to hear it from the medical team. A few days ago they had long faces when they talked to me but now all smiles!

Jan 6, 2011

I’m back home…got here last night. 10% of my liver was lopped off Monday afternoon but it feels like I got kicked in the stomach by a horse.  Tuesday I was able to wobble my head around and sit up for a minute… my morphine pump was my new best friend. I never had morphine before and let me tell you it works! I was able to control the dose… sort of…every 10 minutes it was ready to disperse a dose when I pushed the button… if I pushed it any earlier it beeped but it was a fake dose. Either way it worked. Wednesday I did some walking and my doc felt it was ok to go home. I would have like to stay one more day but I have to admit it felt good to sleep in my bed. I still have my drain in and will go back next week to take it out. I am so grateful to David Imagawa M.D. for literally saving my life.

Jan 23, 2011

I am on day 4 of chemo and my body is handling it well… a little nausea that we nip in the bud… chemo has come a long way baby! I had 2 radiation treatments and back on Monday.  I hope to go home on Monday… I finally pooped 2 nights ago… anyone who has waited over a week knows how great that is! down size is my bowels have a mind of their own… I sleep wih a diaper… my new normal but it is temporary. I am alive and eating again. I lost 15 lbs since Dec 26th but today I was weighed and I gained back 3 lbs. My family brings me Jamba juice daily with a protein shot… that helped on the days I did not want solid food.  My days are mostly good, but I need those pain meds. I find myself hallucinating though…having conversations with people who are not there…there is no way I could safely drive…thank God James will drive me to all my appointments.

Apr 19, 2011

It’s 8:20 pm and I am sitting on my butt for the 1st time while I type this! Oh, I’m also watching Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution.

Apr 26, 2011

PET-CT scan results are in…everything looks good! What the Dr. looks for are parts of my body that “lights up”…meaning that is the area that could have a c-word…the brighter the light the more likely. They measure on a scale from 0-40. A small part of my rectum came up 4…meaning it could be a false positive…a faint glow…nothing in my lymphnodes,which was their main concern. Next I get a biopsy…if anything is there, then surgery to remove it. I would have liked a 0 result but I will be happy! I knew I would be ok and was not nervous about the results until we got to the waiting room…then my tears started coming. Its hard to keep a brave face all the time. I am grateful for the good news

May 4, 2011


I’m with James at Target. I never rode one of these scooters…beats walking for now…my butt is still tender but getting better everyday 🙂

May 17, 2011

I drove my car today on a real road not just in my condo property! John was driving us home from the store and I asked him to pull over so I could drive the rest ofn the way home. It was uncomfortable for my butt. but I can drive myself short distances. Freedom!

Aug 1, 2011

My wheelchair arrived today! Freedom and Independence!… Now I can go on family outings longer than an hour. I can walk until I get tired…then hubby can push me. I’m a lucky girl! and VERY Blessed!

Aug 6, 2011

I crapped my pants in the middle of Trader Joes this afternoon, right by the freezer section. So what did I do? I finished my shopping of course! Then I went to the bathroom, cleaned myself up and drove myself home. Luckily there were lots of babies there so I could easily blame one of them for any unpleasant odors. Thank God for pull-up panties!

I found this picture of me. I think it was taken in July of 2011. I know it was when I finally started to feel like myself, no drugs, no pain, just feeling good! My hair started to look better too. I didn’t lose my hair from chemo but since I never experienced cancer and chemo treatments I thought everyone lost their hair (they do in the movies) but my particular cancer cocktail did not cause hair to fall out. Me being the control freak that I am, I had a friend cut my hair short so when it fell out, it wouldn’t be a shock. Good thing I didn’t go ahead and shave it like I originally planned.

Picture of me 3

Most of my memory of the days in 2011 are foggy. I was on three types of pain killers and I slept a lot. Keeping a journal helped me remember what happened.

Be Well!


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