Probably one of the hardest lessons I am trying to learn is… keeping my mouth shut. I guess I have always been opinionated, at least for as long as I can remember. I mean well. I am naturally a problem solver. I was never good at just listening or as it is now called, “holding someone’s space.” I learned that phrase on some spiritual blog or was it on a funny YouTube video? Anyway, in case you never heard of it — it means to just be with others without judgment.
That’s easier said than done for me, especially when the person I’m with is venting about something I can give advice about… which usually is “stop doing that.” That isn’t usually what one wants to hear. Its hard for me though. Keeping my mouth shut. I learned some serious life lessons along my 58 year old journey and I am just trying to spare someone else the grief I went through. Learn from my mistakes.
I recently read a post on a blog I follow. The author is a Zen practitioner. He usually writes thoughtful posts and they seem to speak to me directly sometimes. I’m guessing the Universe makes sure I read them at the time I really need to read them. When the student is ready, the teacher will come.
This particular post dealt with allowing someone to experience their own life journey — without interference…like keeping my mouth shut. Holding their space and allowing them to figure things out for themselves — or not. How can someone experience their life lessons if someone keeps telling them what to do?
And that’s where its so hard for me. I guess I could learn to ask them if they want my advice. Or is that just another way of putting my two cents in? I know I don’t like people coming across as preaching to me. You know those people — they always know better than anyone else when it comes to just about anything. Maybe that’s me. I don’t want to be one of those people, but I DO often have the answer to their problem.
I read in a few other spiritual sites that we attract situations and people who are reflections of ourselves. Is the person complaining only a mirror image of myself? I will have to meditate more about that. Meanwhile, I want to practice the art of keeping my mouth shut, at least until the other person asks for my opinion.
We’ll see how long that lasts…